I'm not a fan of resolutions. They always seemed like something people make with the intention of breaking them. Somewhere, in my early 20's, I stopped really making them. Instead I chose to reflect on the year and try to point out the positive things that changed or happened, and look at the negative things and how I dealt with them. So here we go for another year. Since I want to end on a good note, I always start with the negative things.
My sister and I had a pretty big falling out this year. Not as bad as in the past, but bad enough that we didn't talk for a couple of months. It really sucked to not have her around, but I was pretty happy with the way I handled it. In the past, I would lose my temper, yell and so on, but this time I just kept my cool and let her yell all she wanted while I said nothing. It really must have drove her nuts.
My brother is on the outs with my dad and my sister. He said something to my dad to upset him and they haven't spoken since. He stole from my sister, she is convinced of this, and now they don't talk either. As much as it all sucks, I've managed to stay out of this one. Instead of trying to fix it, and failing as usual, I learned to be Switzerland and stay neutral. It's been a nice change.
On to the good stuff...
This year changed me so much. At the beginning of the year, I was sad about my father being so hands of in our adult lives, upset with my brother being so needy, but most of all I was angry with myself for allowing all these people in my life to make me feel insignificant and small. This is a feeling I have been dealing with since I was about 15. Never feeling like I fit in, never feeling like my opinion matter and feeling like I just wasn't important. Now, everything is different.
It all started with my trip to Conneaut and this blog is a treasured record of it. I took a chance, something I was never known for, and traveled to Pennsylvania, my first trip alone, with only 2 weeks of planning. While I knew people there, I had never actually met them. Usually my shyness would segregate me from everyone, leaving me second guessing my every statement, but somehow the shyness didn't overtake me and I made great friends. I came home with a new sense of awareness and confidence that at times even surprises me.
I took yet another trip, this time to West Virginia. I battled the sun and the heat, two things that don't really agree with a red headed Canadian, and survived without burning thanks to SPF70. I also survived my first encounter with energy issues I never expected to encounter, and wound up having a great time. I made even more new friends on that trip.
Another trip, this time to State College Pennsylvania gave me the chance to support Ryan's book release by attending his book singing and the open house in October. We stayed in a nearby KOA Kabin, without heat, and had a great time despite the cold. The entire trip was a lot of fun, and gave me yet another opportunity to get together with my new friends. Although, I must admit, the Barnes and Noble in State College liked my money a little too much...
I also made it to Charleston, South Carolina! I never expected to ever get there, to experience a place like that, especially not with such great friends. To this day, I'm still blown away at the things I experienced there. It really was an 'Epic' trip, as promised, and one I will always remember. I don't think anything could top this trip, but a new year is about to begin, and if I've learned anything this year, anything is possible.
When I did this last year, I secretly hoped to meet that special someone and settle down, but I'm not sad that I didn't. This year I met so many someones, and they are all extremely special. So much so that my Christmas card list tripled. At the end of this year, I'm happy. Happy to be me. Happy to have done the things I've done seen the things I've seen, and met the people I've met. All in all, a great year in review.
Bring on 2011, I'm looking forward to it...
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