Monday, May 25, 2020

The Storm


The Storm

The sky was dark grey and filled with clouds as we stepped onto the beach. The usual warm, soft sand that squished between my little toes was now thick, clumpy and cold. Everything about the usually warm and inviting beach was now cold, as the storm made its way towards us. I looked out into the water, watching it crash against the sand with a harsh snap.
“Come on already.” My brother said as he tugged my hand, moving through the sand
“I don’t know about this.” I said hesitantly, moving slower as I looked at the rough water. “Maybe we shouldn’t…”
“Fine, stay here on the beach, like a baby.” He said as he let go of my hand and ran off to join our cousins in the water.
  The waves were huge and angry, coming down with a force that kept pushing my tiny body to the sand, as I was only 6 and small. I waded in to my knees, and as the waves crashed over me, they hit about shoulder height. I jumped up and down, enjoying the excitement as the white caps hit me. Suddenly there was yelling behind me, hands lifted me out of the water and I was on the cold wet sand again as the other kids walked out of the water miserably. My brother and I stood in front of my father as he looked down at us.
“What do you think you were doing?” He asked us both, then turned to my brother. “You are supposed to look out for your little sister. How was she the only one with the sense to stay at the shoreline? And how could you leave her there? What if something happened, to her, or you?” He said as he pulled us both into a tight hug. He eased back, looked us both dead in the eye and said “By the way, I hope that was fun, you’re both grounded.”

Wednesday, May 13, 2020

...

I'm starting to find that this quarantine is weighing on me. Not only does it make me feel a little less like me as it goes on and on, but it has affected my writing.

I was well on the way to having a novel I really liked, was very proud of, and couldn't wait to finish. I was "in love" with my characters, as most writers are. I ate, slept and breathed them...now, I barely feel like I can reach them. I found them when I was at one of the lowest times I've known in so long. Their story brought me out of my life, and in a sense made me think 'everything will be okay',  because they were a constant.

Recently, within the last 3 weeks or so, I have such a hard time reaching them...I've never felt so disconnected from anyone in my entire life, which is almost terrifying considering I created them. These people, they live in my head...and right now it feels like they've moved, or (hopefully) just gone on an extended vacation.

In the 5 months I've been writing their story, I was so engrossed, in who they were, their story...now a part of me feels a little lost. I'm hoping that as the lock down ends, so shall my writers block. I've begun writing the same story, from the opposite point of view, as well as writing prompts. i truly can't wait to finish these stories and see the characters to the end of their journey's.

Prompt

How were you named?

I have never really heard the story of how I was named. I have heard what I can only hope are jokes, but you never know...

Someone, a family remember, told me I was named Tara after the mansion in Gone With the Wind. I know, not very exciting being named after a house, but it is what it is. All in all, Tara was a beautiful place...

My father, on the other hand, told me I was named after a character on All My Children, a daytime soap opera.... https://abc-daytime.fandom.com/wiki/Tara_Martin

Given the choice, I chose to believe I'm named after the house....



Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Daily Prompt

Describe the perfect home. Make that home come alive; put yourself in your mind in that place. How large or small is it? Where is located?


The two story Victorian sits in the middle of the quiet residential street, hidden in the downtown core.  The street is lined with similar houses, all with their own slight bit of personality in the form of paint, siding colours or even a brightly painted mailbox. The yard is actually quite large, from a city perspective. It's surrounded by a thigh high white picket fence, the gate opens and displays a small stone pathway leads to a set of wide brick steps at the front of the house.

The house itself is tall, dignified and inviting. The large, wrap around wooden porch, complete with a sing in front, softens the facade. The building itself is clad in white wooden siding, painted a soft mossy green colour, with white trim that matches the fence. Once side of the home boasts bay windows, framed in black, making them stand out. The entryway is grand, with double partial glass  doors inviting you in, while a small stained glass window shines above it. On the other side of the doors are a set of sliding windows, framed again in black and surrounded by white trim, and another matching set on the upper level.

Entering through the double doors, the tall ceilings, hard wood floors and soft chandelier lighting create a warm feeling. The small entry bench sits across from some coat hooks along the wall, a small table and an umbrella stand. The long entry way leads all the way to the back of the house. A set of stairs is in the middle, leading to the upper floor. Moving down the hall towards the back of the house, is a small powder room.

Moving to the right, into the bay window room, the library is visible. The high walls hold built in bookcases along them, complete with rail and library ladder. The room has  a nice brick fireplace, and a small grey fabric sofa. The bay window has been transformed into a window seat, and nearby stands a small wooden desk. Moving to the left of the entryway leads to a large living area, painted a soft cream colour. There is a sofa, matching the library one, and two matching armchairs. There is a small tv mounted above the brick fireplace. A chandelier hangs from the ceiling, as well a tables & lamps between the sofa and each chair. A credenza sits behind the sofa, a stereo, resting on the top, and a matching coffee table sits in front of the sofa,

Past the living area is a large wide open kitchen. There appliances are stainless steel and placed appropriately around the space. The cupboards are a pale green, while the counter tops are white quartz with green veining through them. Under the large window, facing into the moderately sized green yard, is a large country style kitchen sink. The room holds a large kitchen island, able to accommodate 3-4 people comfortably. A small table,  sits in front of a set of glass patio doors leading to the yard.

Moving across the house, is a formal dining room. The chandelier lighting, blankets the room in soft lighting. A long, light coloured wood table sits in the middle of the room, with 10 matching chairs surrounding it. A china cabinet lines one wall, while pictures line the others.

The dark wooden steps leading up to the second floor are lined with a white sturdy rail. At the top of the steps is a long hallway. The hardwood floors are draped with a long runner, to soften the noise. The walls hold family photos as you move down the hallway. On the right, there are 2 doors. The first door leads into the large master bedroom. There is a large, soft looking queen size bed in the room, along with a small white nightstand on each side. There is a small fireplace opposite the bed, and a white dressing table nearby, complete with the small white stool. The bay window sports a comfortable looking window seat, complete with pillows and a small stool and lamp nearby.

A doorway at the end of the room leads through a walk in closet and into the master bath. The room has a washer and dryer tucked into the back corner, along with a sectioned off water closet. There is a large, quartz double vanity, complete with double mirrors. Tucked away near the water closet is a claw foot stand alone bath tub and next to it, a walk in shower. The walls are a light cream, the tiles are white, and the accents are all black.

On the other side of the hallway is 3 doors. The first being a bedroom, holding a double bed, small dresser and nightstand. The second door is to the Jack and Jill bathroom between the 2 other rooms. The last room is another bedroom, filled just as the other one. One bedroom is a soft blue, while the other is a soft yellow. The bathroom is decorated with grey. Grey tiles, quartz and accents. The bathroom has a single vanity, toilet, and a tub shower combination.

Friday, May 8, 2020

Daily Prompt

You were granted one superpower. What is the power and what do you do with it?

I think the superpower I would select is fearlessness. Is that a real superpower? For this prompt, lets say it is. I think fearlessness would be a great power to have. The ability to not be afraid seems so minimal, but I think it's a game changer.

People are driven by emotions. Some of those are logical, some illogical. Fear can fall into both categories. Logical fear is the fear of physical hurt, where as illogical fear is fear that has no physical basis. People suffer from so many different fears. I have been in situations where logical fear, physical harm, is so prominent I almost couldn't breathe. I've also been so plagued by illogical fears that I'm reduced to virtually the exact same state. Imagine, not having to feel that?

If I didn't have fears? I would totally do all the things that terrify me. I would step out of my comfort zone, be a bolder person, take chances, travel, say all those things you never say. I think that I would be most excited about being able to travel. Not being afraid of heights would allow me to travel all over and see the places I've always wondered about and wanted to experience.

The down side though, not knowing when you should be scared...

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

prompts


1.     School/Work

When I was in high school, I had to begin to look at schools for college. I considered a few Toronto colleges, but I really wanted to go away for school. I wanted to be on my own, and even try living in residence if I could. I applied to Centennial College in Toronto, Mohawk College in Hamilton and Canadore College in North Bay, with my top choice being Canadore in North Bay. My grandparents were living in South River, so I had also considered living with them and making the 1.5 hour drive to North Bay for classes as needed.

I applied to the journalism programs and the tough part began. I had to write essay after essay to submit for assessments. For Centennial I wrote an essay on how WWF magazine writers had written with a level of bias that I found intriguing. For some reason I didn’t get accepted based on that essay, go figure.

For Mohawk I wrote and essay on my love of reading and writing. On how different writers had influenced my writing styles and how while I was in high school I was driven to take any and every English course I could get my hands on. I believe I was accepted, but I declined the offer…

For my essay to Canadore I wrote an essay on how my brother and I used music as a bridge between us. How my mother used to sit in the middle of the apartment, my brothers music blaring from one side, and mine from the other side. She had equated our music blaring at each other as a form of communication. This did get me accepted, and I was super happy…for about 2 weeks.

My grandmother passed away, and I was living with her and my grandfather. I was the only one who was single and I made the very difficult decision to decline the offer and I gave up my dream of writing. I got a job out of high school and jumped right into the work force. I worked for the same company for about 4 years, then I moved onto a less formal work field for a few years.

During this time, I continued to write, but never in the ‘journalistic’ field. I had always written fiction, all through high school, and I began to expand my writing subjects. By the time I was 30, I had written 4 novels, but I never submitted them for publication. A part of me wonders if I withheld them as a form of punishing myself for giving up on a long ago dream…

Prompt


1.     A Place     

As a kid, one of my favourite places to go was to the trailer. It was my grandparents trailer, we would stay with them for the weekend. We would sleep in the back of the trailer. In the evening, we would huddle around the campfire and roast marshmallows or cook hot dogs while the adults talked. When bed time came, we would go inside and watch the adults from the window, longing to stay up later just to hear what they had to talk about.

Everyday was filled with trips down to the beach for swimming and playing. The beach was beautiful, lots of sand and a huge pool of water, especially to a small child. Lake Bernard is/was the largest manmade lake in Ontario, and I loved ever second of the time I spent there. The water was always nice and refreshing. If you went out to a certain depth, you would encounter slick clay and you would slip around in the water as you swam or walked. Finding clay was always a messy good time.

Every evening there was a tractor ride. The owner would drive a tractor, with a wooden attachment that had benches for sitting and we would drive all over the park. The tractor ride was only about 30 mins long, but it was the something every kid looked forward to. We would all pile on, and watch the park go by. Sometimes, if we felt adventurous, we would try to stand without holding on, trying to keep our balance as the trailer jostled around. If you did it without falling down, you one a certain amount of respect from the other children

There was also a small store and it had a movie room in the back. We could take our allowance, and buy penny candy and popcorn, then sit down and watch a Disney movie in the back room. I remember how much I enjoyed watching Mary Poppins in that back room, and how it introduced me to my first viewing of Bed knobs and Broomsticks. I thought that it was the most unbelievable thing I’d ever seen.

For a few years, there was a pony that would appear on Saturday mornings. Back then, my allowance was only $1, and so were the pony rides. I knew that ride would take all my money, but I still couldn’t resist it, I had to ride the pony. Afterwards, I would be so upset that I couldn’t buy any candy or popcorn for the movie. My dad would give me an extra 50 cents so that I could see the movies. I don’t know what happened to the pony rides, I just remember that all of a sudden they were gone, and I was surprised how sad I was to not have that ride to look forward to.
                   

Prompt


          A Person      

My grandmother was an important person in my life growing up. I remember that I loved spending time with her. My grandparents lived across the street from us, so we were always over there visiting them. In the summer, when I was at the pool all day, I would go to my grandmothers house for lunch. Our favourite lunch was ham, lettuce and tomato sandwiches on brown bread. To this day, it’s still my favourite sandwich to eat. We would also have Neapolitan ice cream at the end of the day.

I also loved to spend the night there. My grandmother had twin beds in her room. I would sleep over sometimes and she had this reading pillow with arms on it. I would get all propped up in it, and she would read me a story, from a book that used to be my mothers. When she was tired of reading, she would leave me to read the book myself, while she climbed in her bed and read her own book. I think she was a big part of my love of reading. She always had a book on the go, visited the library weekly and was always willing to read to us.

I also remember playing scrabble with her. She had this blue travel scrabble board. I loved to pull it out and play with her. If I didn’t understand a word she played, she would hand be the scrabble dictionary and tell me to look it up. We did this for years, and eventually I beat her, but that took years. I still play scrabble that way. If I play a word someone doesn’t know, or they play one I don’t, look it up.

I also got my love of yarn crafts from her. She was always knitting baby sweaters, booties and hats, either for gifts or for her church to raffle off at the Christmas bazaar. I still have a baby set that she had made before she passed away. She taught me to knit, patiently, as I constantly dropped stitches and picked up new ones. I was never able to hold the needles as she did, or work them at the speed she did, but I still love the work. I only hope my work could be half as beautiful as hers.

2nd prompt of the day

So the first daily prompt seemed a little too morbid to leave it as the prompt for the day so I decided to write another.

You receive and unmarked envelope with a check for $5,000,000 inside. It's a legitimate check, what do you do with it? Do you ever find out who it is from? How does it change your life?

Of course it changes your life, there is no way that amount of money wouldn't change your life. I think your character would have a lot to do with how your life would change. I would hire a private detective, to try to find out who sent me the check. If for no other reason that to say thank you. Plus, not knowing would drive anyone a little nuts lol.

What would I do with that kind of money? All the things I never did because I couldn't afford it. I would bank most of it, pay off my family's and my debts, then I would experience life. I would travel as much as I could, and take along any family that would be able. I would love to be able to pay for niece and nephew's education, and donate some to a few of the causes that I've supported in the past.

Today's writing prompt

You find out that you will die in five years or less. How did you find this out? What would you do in those five years?

Well, I mean, first thing, how would I find out I'm going to die in five years? Realistically, if a psychic or something told me, I would hardly believe them...Let's do with a doctor says I have some medical condition that will kill me in five years, but I get to live normally until that time.

The prospect of only having five years left to live your life seems daunting. I would definitely try to start a family as quickly as possible. I would love to spend my remaining years watching a baby grow into a person, Seeing all the wonder of life through their eyes. Watching them have as many firsts as humanly possible.

I would also do all of the things you always put off. You know what I'm talking about. The trip you want to take but push out for whatever reason, the things you wanted to learn but you put off. I would do as much of that as I could in the time I had remaining.

I would also take the time to go through my belongs and organize them so the people let behind wouldn't have to do that. I would take the time to make sure that I organize and go through the photos I have and put them into albums and label each one (I should do this anyway lol). I would just take the time to make sure all my things are organized and it's easy for others to deal with when I'm gone.

Lastly, I would take the time to write my story. Write as much of my life as I can possibly remember, not only for me to remember, for my children (if I have them) and my family. Leave behind a piece of myself, in my own words.

So, that prompt was a little sad and morbid. Hopefully tomorrow is better....

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

Trying to get back on track

Over the last 6 months I did a lot of writing. I started yet another novel, and I have written about 475 pages, and then hit a stalemate. Coronavirus along with trying to submit writing to my first college level writing course has made me hit a bit of a block. Today I purchased a book of writing prompts. I am going to use my blog to work out these writing prompt.

Describe an important item from your childhood. Why was it important and where is it now?

When I was about 12 or 13 I wanted nothing more than to get an electric typewriter. I tried saving my money all summer long, the typewriter was about $120 with taxes all in. During the CNE, we used to help my mother and grandfather work at a parking lot to help raise funds the neighbourhood rec centre. We used to be paid about $20 to stand and flag cars to the parking lot.

On the very last day, which coincidentally was my birthday, when we finished and closed our parking lot, I did a count of all my savings and I was about $40 short. I was devastated. I had wanted that typewriter, with is different font wheels, so badly. My uncle realized how upset I was and agreed to go back out to the parking lot with me and work until we made the money. We charged $2 per car, and he kept a running total. When we hit the $40, we closed the lot, and headed home.

We walked in, and he handed me all the money, and told my mom to take me to the store the next day to get my typewriter. The next day, after dinner, we headed to the store and picked it up. As soon as I got home, I pulled it out of the box, and typed my first letter on it. I was so happy. I think I was even happier once I had fully worked and raised the money all myself.

That typewriter was my go to writing implement until my mother purchased a computer about 9 or 10 years later. I still used the typewriter even more than the computer, and I carried it with me until I was well into my 30's. I finally had to retire it, and a part of me still misses it to this day. The font wheels in their little plastic holder cases, the ribbons, the sound of the click, click, clack. I can still here it now...





Monday, May 4, 2020

Wow, how time flies...and stays the same. The ex I mentioned in my last post, he just had a baby with the same friend, that I again found out about through facebook lol.

I guess this post is about evolution...and the lack there of. It has been so many years since I was in a relationship. I spent years, working on me, trying to heal. Trying to move past all the residual abuse and hurt I suffered in my past relationships before I stepped into a new one. I finally felt 'ready' for as much as that word actually exists. No one who has ever been in any kind of abusive relationship feels ready, ever.

I finally met someone, and I genuinely want to make this relationship work. I feel something I haven't felt in years, hope. Sadly, I often think I'm a little broken. I keep trying to explain why I'm so overly apologetic and unsure of everything, and every time I do, I feel a little sadder that someone has to deal with my lingering issues...

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Rambling thought

Tonight I found out that my ex, the man who repeatedly asked me to have children with him, is now 4 months along in a pregnancy with the girl he assured me "was his best friend only". 

As soon as 3 weeks ago we spoke and he never said anything. I had actually considered having kids with this man. We had been friends since we were 15 years old. At 35, both our options were narrowing and I thought our friendship might just be enough...

I am so much more upset than I imagined.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Under the weather


I know you're all thinking "whoa! She's updating the blog again?!?!?!" Yes it's true. Now that I discovered Blogger for iPhone, I will update more frequently. 

As I'm under the weather, I leave you with this pic of my beautiful niece:)

Saturday, October 19, 2013

A Blood Red Sky

Tonight I saw Chad Calek's documentary A Blood Red Sky for the second time.

The first time I sat through the 6 hour gold event ticket I purchased, I saw not only the film, but evidence from other investigations and discussions. Tonight was no different, except we were treated to 22 minutes I hadn't seen.

My reaction to the movie the first time I saw it was a mixture of awe, sadness, anger and appreciation for the film maker and participants as much as the content. I found myself anxious for Joe, tense for Justin, feeling bad for Mary Beth and feeling an admiration for Chad considering the things he had to task his friends to do. After I saw the movie the first time, I raved to my friends.

Tonight, I took a friend with me to see the film. She into the paranormal, but also a little anxious and scared, reminding me of Joe. I knew after the pre films she was hooked:) I had pre-ordered American Ghost Hunter and had hoped to show it to her before attending the Blood Red Sky event. Due to a few snafoo's it didn't work out that way. Even though my pre-ordered copy is coming I decided to purchase a copy for her to get signed.

The new footage was a surprise and I enjoyed the new music added in. I enjoyed the movie just as much as the first time...if not more! This time around, I paid more attention to all the details. I don't feel like I missed anything this time, except the ability to see this film on a BIG screen at my local theatre. It was that damn good. 

As much as I want to see Calek movies on the BIG screen, I will admit, WHEN they make it there, I'll miss the intimate film showings with the Q & A after. I hope that never ends. If you want to be a part of helping to bring A Blood Red Sky to a theatre near you, you could purchase a copy of American Ghost Hunter here: http://www.aghthemovie.com 

Hurry up Mr. Calek and the AGH crew, I can't wait for the next film:)

Thursday, October 17, 2013

An update

Things have been a little crazy in my world. I've been working like mad, and spending what free time I can with family.

My sister had a baby in August. This is my niece Chelsea
I absolutely love spending every free minute with her. She is the apple of my eye. 

Other than family, I took a vacation to Cuba in April
And I snorkelled in the Bay of Pigs, pictures above. It was an amazing thing, and I enjoyed every second. I actually relaxed and just did nothing!

When I got back to work, it was busy busy busy and hasn't stopped. I am hoping for a winter themed vacation in January. 

Off I go. I'll try to write more as I can do so from my phone now;) I love technology:) 

Thursday, January 31, 2013

I am still here...although sometimes I wonder....

Hello my blog readers! It's another new year! I hope all of the holidays went well for you. This have been good in my neck of the woods, but very busy. I'm sorry I haven't kept up with the writing on here, but I have been swamped. I do hope to make a more regular return here in the spring. Until then, I miss writing here, and I'll try to pop in here from time to time and drop a line.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Well, hello!

Well, hello all.

Things have been quite busy in my world so I haven't written on here as much as I wanted to. I completed the renovation on my kitchen, just a few casing boards at the edge of the floor and it's done! Now I am making all the plans for my bathroom renovation. Years of a leak have caused the floor boards to soften, so I will be knocking down a wall and increasing the bathroom size, and moving the tub to the other side of the house. Once I have the tub, or just before we get it, I'll work on taking the wall down and building the frame.

Short of that, here is the book list update:

6) Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James
7) Fifty Shades Freed by E. L. James
8) Fifty Shades Darker by E. L. James
9) The Half Life by Jennifer Weiner
10) Recalculating by Jennifer Weiner

I am still working on a bunch, but that is them so far. I would be more than happy to have any of you readers join my book club, Book Ends. Here is the link to the FB page where we select our titles and plan our meetings... Book Ends Book Club

I'll pop in again soon.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

First TNAP Paratrekk

This weekend I had the pleasure of attending the first TNAP Paratrekk to Niagara Falls. Unfortunately a few people had bail out at the last minute, but I think that just made it a little better for all of the attendees who did show up.

Friday evening we started with a book reading at Blythewood Manor. Wayne Mallows read to us from his first novel Whitechapel Road: A vampire tale. After the reading, we were able to tour the house and hear a little of the history. I was very pleased to have the opportunity to sit in his "writing chair" in the nook upstairs. I think that we may read Wayne's book as a Book Ends Book Club selection.

After Blythewood Manor, we went to Fort Erie. TNAP had arranged for us to have Fort Erie to ourselves for a few hours. After a short tour of areas that have reported activity. After the brief history, we were left to conduct a small investigation on our own. It was quite fun having the run of a fort.

Saturday we took the opportunity to sight see. A few of us got together for activities and others went of on their own. I got together with Pat and Sue and we took Michelle's son bowling and to the Arcade. It was an enjoyable afternoon. We capped of the socializing with a relaxed dinner at Michelle's place as we all got excited for our evening investigation.

TNAP managed to get us use of the Iron Island Museum from 7pm to 3am. We had a tour, which was great, then we were able to move on and begin our investigation. We set up recorders in each room, and there were  different groups set up in different rooms.

We really did have a great time. The next morning we all got together and had breakfast at a haunted diner in Niagara Falls. There is talk of another trip some time around the new year. I really can't wait. I can't wait for the next trip

To all those who missed out, you really missed out on an amazing time. Don't miss the next one www.tnapparatrekks.com

Monday, March 26, 2012

Catching up

Well, hello all. It has been quite some time since I posted, much longer than I had hoped. I've had a few things going on.

I renovated my kitchen. Out with the old, in with the new. I got rid of the old cupboards, counter and floor. I've put in a new ceramic tile floor and all new cupboards. This turned out to be a lot harder than I expected. I had a huge amount of issues with the floor. The tiles didn't want to stick, so I had redo them. We had some breakage issues as well when moving the fridge, but all in all, things seemed to have settled down alright. All that remains is removing the remaining bits of wallpaper and to paint the walls. I am beyond excited for the final results. I'll post pics when I am finished.

A friend of mine is doing a sort of challenge. 52 books in 52 weeks. I will aim to read 52 books this year. Here is the list so far this year:

1) Too close to Home by Linwood Barclay
2) The Help by Kathryn Stockett
3) The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
4) Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
5) Mocking Jay by Suzanne Collins

I am currently reading The Vow and The Descendants. I am still reading the Game of Thrones set as well. I'll keep updating the list.

I've started a book club. It's called Book Ends Book Club. The group exists on facebook, and we meet once a month in a Tinychat chat room  Feel free to join. Book Ends Book Club

I've also begun writing another story. We'll see where it leads.